Just Let Go.

Out of Reach

2009-08-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

When I started this Blog with my heart open and honest I was excited, nervous and a little scared to “Let Go”. Let go of the known and the unknown, the past and the future. Now, here I am, back where it all began, I’ve let it all go and don’t know how to melt back in the mold I’ve grown out of. Am I expected to melt back into the mold? Or do I make a new mold for myself? Where do I go to find contentment, the satisfaction of the life I once had? Is it possible to find it here, what if I never figure it out? What if I suffer from this confusion forever? I feel like it’s all out of my reach. I’ll never be who I was before I left for my search. But will I ever be able to find the peace, joy and contentment of the simple life here in this hectic life? It all feels so far out of my reach. Now I close the door of this blog but pray that this chapter in my life will mold me into a stronger person. And if you wish to continue reading about my journey I will have a new blog I hope to keep up with - kristinarhuman.blogspot.com

'Still Grumpy?'

2009-06-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

I have class in 30 minutes so I am sitting here preparing under the fans in the guest house where we've been living for the last week. It's 9 o'clock and something dreadful happens everyday at 9 am. It's terribly hot this time of year infact all the teaching staff describe it like standing right next to a fire. But not only is it hot, heavy dew falls at night and in the morning when it heats we feel like we are living in a green house. Ceiling fans are crucial this time of year, but at 9 am everyday the power is shut off. From 9-11 we have no fans. In the classrooms with 40-80 students I stand in one place and try not to move. The kids use their books as fans and when the school day is finished I look like I took a bath with all of my clothes on. Ahh... what misery.

But yesterday I Kara read to me a devotional called 'Still Grumpy?' Usually the heat makes me an unpleasant person to be around, but the heat hasn't really affected me too much this last month. But something I wanted to share from the devotion, the author shared some of the things he was thankful for and it got me thinking:

1. For the taxes I pay, because it means I am emplyed.
2. For the mess to clean after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
3. For the clothes that fit a little too snugly, because it means I have enough to eat.
4. For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.
5. For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means we have a freedom of speech.
6. For the person behind me in church who sings off key, because it means I can hear.
7. For the weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I am capable of working.

There are so many things we complain about but if we would take deeper look at things would we change them if we had the opportunity? Would I give up the heat in India for something else? Mmmm, it's very tempting, but no. I'm thankful for no fans and hot, hot weather because it means that I've been blessed to travel to this part of the world and learn all that I have learned. What a real blessing!

Close your eyes...

2009-06-01T02:09:00.000-07:00

Just close your eyes, imagine the early morning sun's faint rays shining through the bamboo thatch wall and roof as you sit on a stool next to your daughters bed. Sweat slides down your face and drops onto your already sweat stained shirt as you cover your feverish daughter with another blanket. Her eyes open for a second and you see the yellow that has drowned the white of her eyes, it's the same yellow color that has stained the rest of her body and all these symptoms assure you it's jaundice. She's been in bed for 2 days and you've tried every herbal treatment ever recorded but nothing seems to change. But now it's not just jaundice, malaria has somehow entered the front battle line against her fragile and weak immunity. As a single parent you can hardly put rice on the table for your daughter and son, let alone find proffessional medical care. The herbs and prayers are all you've got as you watch your daughter walk closer and closer to the edge of death.

It's been finalized, there's nothing to do about it. A life or death situation has been decided before a decision could even be made. It makes me more angry than anything. Why must money, rather lack of, be the determining factor of a life? But now it's too late and there's nothing that can be done. It angers me that this mother wouldn't ask for financial help, it angers me that she would watch her daughter die because, "sometimes these kind of things happen and there's nothing we can do", but more than anything it angers me that this happens everyday. Everday small and innocent children loose their lives because they don't know that there's an alternative. Something can be done! What will you do? Just close your eyes...

A great day!

2009-05-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

Today I was helping serve dinner in the cafeteria. And the rice just so happens to be my favorite... you dig into the clumpy rice with a bowl and plop it on top of the kids' plate, whatever they don't want they politely throw it back into the big pot. And when people aren't looking I snack on the rice between crowds of starving students. But as I was serving tonight and talking with some girls coming through the line Kara pointed to a boy standing in line... I could hardly believe what I saw!!! It was Jingjrang, my favorite student in class 9 was back! He had gone home just last week to be treated for Malaria PF which is a very serious case of Malaria. I was so sad to see him catch a bus alone for a trip home. He's been in my thoughts and prayers everyday since he left. Class is never the same without him. But I am looking forward to my class 9 bible tomorrow with Jingjrang sitting in the back and distracting me all period.

The first day of class I knew I would have problems with him and always remember him when I asked him if he wanted to stay after school and clean all the desks in the class after I asked him once to stop writing on his desk. Never again did he attempt to write on his desk and we slowly became very good friends. He's one of the better students now and his english has improved greatly. I enjoy emberassing him during class when he talks and I'm very much looking forward to class with him again tomorrow, I hope he's as excited to be back at school!

ACCEPT rather than EXPECT

2009-05-18T06:40:00.000-07:00

How much do we expect?
From strangers, friends, family, ourselves, and even God?
What do we expect to gain from certain experiences or situations?
We expect a smile from a stranger, we expect good advice from friends, we expect words of encouragement from family, we expect success for ourselves, and peace from God.

How often do we accept?
Accept a bad situation, strangers, friends, family, ourselves, and even God?
Can we accept anything we don't expect?
Accept a stranger's darting eyes, a friends quiet avoidance, a family members harsh words, or God's unanswered prayers.

We cause ourselves pain when we expect and find we've been let down. We cause others pain when we expect of them and they feel judged. We cause God pain when we expect of Him and later curse Him when we feel as though we are being punished.

Why do we do this to our loved ones and ourselves? It takes the joy out of our lives and faith. Try it one day.

Focus on the acceptance rather than the expectations.

Bribery Works!

2009-05-12T05:15:00.000-07:00

Nearly 7 ½ months have passed. Teaching these students must be a teacher’s worst nightmare. It’s like talking to a stone wall in an empty room, but still that may be better than 60 blank faces. Asking questions only seems to a complete silence amongst my students. Asking them to be creative and write or draw brings a small sound and offers me a ray of hope until I process the quiet whisper, “Miss, I don’t know.”

I wonder if they understand my English or if our culture barrier is just too far to stretch. As I lecture in front of the dumb crowd I wonder if maybe it’s not them with the problem but maybe me... Until today. I’ll tell you a trick, bribery works! I walked into my 9th grade Bible class this morning with a small black bag full of candy and my notes full of short stories and questions. I read a short story aloud from the Gospels then told them to raise their hand if they knew the answers to my questions concerning the story. It took a lot of prompting, but finally my front row, A+ students, caught on and were filling their table with candy. I was so pleased! During the first two or three short stories the quieter ones in the back must have been working up the nerves to answer a question for a piece of American chocolate (which in reality is much tastier and less chalkier than Indian chocolate), because after my fourth story a boy in the last row jumped out of his seat with his hand in the air and a wide grin on his face. When I said his name he more than whispered the answer with a quick shout. Oh, what a surprise! I wanted to give him my whole bag of goodies. It's days like this that assure me God has called me for such a job.

Darjeeling

2009-05-09T23:23:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago we had a holiday after first term exams and Kara and I left all of our teaching worries at the school got on a bus and took a 12 hour trip to the himalayan hill station town Darjeeling.

It's famous for it's amazing tea with 42 different tea estates. In the whole town you can't find a good cup of coffee but plenty of great teas. We went to a tea estate called "Happy Valley" and met a mother and daughter from New York who were volunteering for 3 weeks in Kolkatta.

The town was small and enjoyable with quite a few tourists. We had great food minus the apple pie with dried apples and pretty good accommodatoin. It was really nice to get away from the school and spend sometime up in the mountains in the cooler weather.

It's getting too hot here and I'm really looking forward to being back at home with a cool lake to hop into when it's gets too hot. I don't think I'll complain about the heat ever again. Four weeks from today and I'll be gretting my family in Seattle. Seems like the year is flying by, but when I look back at certain events it seems as though it's been years ago.

A media team with Maranatha came and filmed the school after we got back from Darjeeling and it was really fun to talk with them and hear their stories about the place. It was good for me to talk with people who could offer some advice about the weather, teaching, and all kinds of other things.

April 16, 2009

2009-04-17T04:33:00.001-07:00

5:00 am - Roll out of bed throw on some shoes and off for the regular morning jog.

6:00 am - Get home and open the back door as directed by Kara. Surprise!!! My favorite group, the small girl's hostel, sings happy birthday and presents the coolest birthday card. We go for a morning walk together as they give me extra love on my special day.

8:00 am - Return home with milk and eggs from a local shop to make banana pancakes for a birthday breakfast with the phone to my ear I hear my family singing 'Happy Birthday' followed by "We miss you!"

10:00 am - Visit a friend who is sick in bed and we bring an all natural medicince we picked from the field outside the campus wall.

12:00 pm - Head for Bajengdoba, the small village, to pick up some snack food for a late night party.

1:00 pm - Lunch at the guest house with the maranatha couple from Australia (they have A/C). Momo's, baked potatoes, salad, veggie patties, soup, and my second most favorite desert... apple pie!

6:00 pm - Worship at the small girls hostel. I told them a story in exchange for a dance performance, dinner, and a small gift... Wow, what a deal!

9:00 pm - Late night party with Kara... Indian junk food, cold mango juice, and my all time favorite - Cheesecake - made from a box sent from home, but yet so very delicious.

12:00 am - An exciting 20th birthday comes to an end and I fall asleep with a smile happy to be in India on April 16, 2009.

Honest.

2009-04-10T02:39:00.001-07:00

This blog is going to be an honest blog, complete truth and no lies. I'm honestly tired. I'm tired of living this life- teaching, the food, sickness, being in the middle of nowhere, and the terrible heat that keeps getting worse. I was really sick the last week and am recovering now. I was tested for malaria twice and everytime the results were negative. I was in bed for 5 days without moving only to roll from one side to the other, to wake up and drink which had to be forced, and to wake up to eat which also was forced and a very small amount. My body was in a constant sweat and I was loosing water fast and couldn't keep food in my body. I was growing weak with every passing day. My parents had been contemplating the "emergency evacuation" plan with the Student Missions director so that I could come home and get professional medical attention. I would cry when I thought about the opportunity to go home, hoping that it was God's will that I would be so sick I would need to go home. Eventually I made it to a doctor who gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and before long I had gained strength and on Thursday I went to my classes. Everything is fine now, but I feel as if my body is here, but my heart and mind have already taken that "emergency evacuation" and left for home. It's going to be a tough 2 months until I fly into Seattle but I am praying everyday for the strength and wisdom. I know it will be easier when I let go and trust God.

Free

2009-03-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been so trapped by something that it starts to define you? It becomes a part of you and makes you, YOU. You don’t even know how you landed behind the bars of this thing or emotion but it seems to limit you. It’s almost as if we lie to our self and tell our self that whatever “it” is, is not really there. Often times it just seems so impossible to remove that we just grow with this thing and it begins to label our identity and worth. To imagine life without it seems strange and almost uncomfortable.

After being away from my reality for almost 6 months, I feel like I’ve found my freedom from such things that have held me hostage for so long and oh, the joy I have found! I can't even describe it. The first step of admitting that something was trapping me and beginning to define me was the hardest part. It wasn’t easy, but after much prayer and hard work I finally feel free. It’s not over and I’m not finished, I still have to return back to my reality and face the bars of imprisonment there. My fear is that I won’t have the strength to stand for my new found freedom. May God’s absolute presence be the defining strength that sets me free.

Memorial Service

2009-03-28T04:55:00.000-07:00

Thursday morning, I woke up and started my day like anyother. Went for my jog down the road through the village and rice fields, said good morning to the neighbors, came home and made a cup of coffee to go with my devotions, had breakfast and ran off to class by 8:00. When I got to the school building I saw a river of blue uniforms breaking out of the front and side doors. When I made it to the teachers room they informed me that the small four-year-old daughter of one staff member that had been hospitalized the night before with a serious case of malaria had died in the night. Immediately the tears came and I made my way home to tell Kara and prepare for the memorial service in a few hours.

Kara and I walked in silence to the families house just down the road from the school and when we got there the whole place seemed so dark. The clouds began to roll in and the dust began to blow. The colorful clothing that usually seems so bright and cheerful had no color at all and seemed rather dull. After several minutes of sitting in silence outside the small hut I heard dreadful sobs coming from inside. Of course a mother would be crying for her dead daughter but when I went inside after it began to rain I went into a small bedroom where the mother sat on a bed next to a white sheet. When she pulled down the white sheet and revealed the beautiful face of her small daughter the sobs began again and instantly my vision became blury and I left the room to find my seat just outside the door. The sobbing continued with every visitor that passed into the room. It was a heartbreaking sob that brought tears to my eyes every time.

There had been silence for almost 30 minutes when suddenly a few gasping breaths came before another sorrowful sob and it wasn't just the mother but her eldest son had just returned from a nearby town. He had been studying in a town a few hours away and had just arrived to find his dead sister and mother in the bedroom. They cried together and between sobs she said, "Son, I'm so sorry. She asked for you to come every weekend to play with her and now..."

The stress of all the crying and screaming had worn me thin and I was starting to feel tired. After we had been at their house for three hours I looked through the bedroom door to find two men picking up the child and laying her in the wooden coffin that had been covered with black fabric. They laid flowers across the top and carried it outside to the front of the house where they had the memorial service. After the pastor said few words and prayed they showed her face one last time then nailed the coffin shut and carefully picked it up and carried it to the burial site. The mother rose from her chair quickly to run after her daughter, between the sobbing and gasping she seemed to scream for her daughter to come back. I didn't go to the burial and instead I made my way back home. This family is in great need of prayer right now as they have another daughter of 8 years who has been in bed for 5 days with the same serious case of malaria. I couldn't imagine another memorial service like that.

Adventures with Maranatha

2009-03-21T05:09:00.000-07:00

A medical team came with Maranatha last week and we spent our time with them as I wrote earlier. One day we went to a town nearby and took a ride on an elephant. When we were going up I almost fell off...

Another morning four of us left the campus at 5 am to take a hike up to some huge boulders on a hill just behind the school. I've wanted to hike up there and climb around ever since we came but haven't had time. So we finally made the climb and watched the sunrise from one boulder.

Simple Pleasures

2009-03-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

One fine day I was feeling very blessed and decided I would make a list of all the things that have brought simple pleasure to my life when I need a little pick-me-up just in case one of "those days" comes along and I need to remind myself of the simple pleasures in life here.

1. Baking.
2. A hot cup of coffee with my devotions as I watch the sun rise.
3. Naps in my cool house on a hot afternoon.
4. Cooking new Indian dishes with my Amma, Jenny.
5. Singing at the top of my lungs with the headphones on
6. Wrestlying with my little Kahsi buddy, Lung.
7. Wenesday morning breakfast at the market... Jakep (a sweet sticky rice bread)
8. Talking to my friends here about my family and friends in the US.
9. Walking around outside barefoot.
10. Ripe papyas.
11. Letters and packages from home.
12. My can of Big Franks sitting in the kitchen window sill.
13. My Bath & Body works lotion
14. A clean house.
15. Emails from friends and family.
16. Cloudy days.
17. Sabbath afternoon potlucks with Indian, American, and Australian foods.
18. A hot shower.
19. Rooftop rides on the busses.
20. My head scratcher from Natalie.
21. Clean, sun dried cloths.
22. Parathas (A tasty Indian flat bread)
23. Eating with my fingers.
24. Clean feet.
25. Sarees.

"Guilty as Loved"

2009-03-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

I am guilty. I find myself guilty at the end of everyday. How many times must I plead guilty? My desires are selfish, my thoughts are judgemental, my time is impatient, my understanding is little, my frustration is cunning, my forgiveness is limited, and my love is insufficient. How can there be mercy for all of these acts that happen more than once and everyday of my life?

Now I stand before the Judge with my case and I plead guilty as I wait for my destiny to be announced. I know I can manage whatever I deserve, let it be death, I know I deserve the absolute worst punishment.

I wait for Him to speak as I hang my head in shame. Suddenly, I hear Him say, "Guilty as... loved." Love? What? What does He mean? Then I hear Him say, "You are my daughter and I love you. Go and sin no more."

"But I am guilty," I cry as I fall to my knees because of my unworthiness. But He picks me up and brushes the dust from my knees and the tears from my face, then kisses me on the forehead and sends me on my way.

I've never felt more love before in my entire life. What an incredible gift of mercy I don't deserve! This isn't just a once in a lifetime experience either, instead it's an everyday occurance if I choose. And it's not just my experience, it's there for anyone if you choose.

No news from India

2009-03-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

I received an email the other week with the subject titled “Urgent Kristina and Kara!!!” and it began, “We have not heard from India and we need news to put in the Walla Walla Collegian…” and it was signed, “Sincerely, Student Missions.” Wow, three exclamation marks! For a second it felt nice, we’re out of sight but thankfully we haven’t been forgotten. I thought about the email the rest of the day but instead my warm feelings of not being forgotten were slowly changing. By evening I felt burdened to write an article and wished I could forget the whole idea or maybe people at home could just forget me. What do I have to write? I have no life changing experiences to write about and nobody wants to read an article titled, “Life in India,” how lame, right? So, that’s what I did, I forgot about the email and the request for an article. I have nothing of interest to say, why waste good space in the collegian where someone else could write something exciting and inspiring?

We had our first group of volunteers with Maranatha come from the states to do some medical work in the villages near our school. Kara and I were pulled from our classes to help prepare their food and be their “guides” for the next two weeks, we didn’t know how we were suppose to “guide” them but we went along anyway. They started out visiting villages where they set-up the clinics and somehow I knew enough of the language that I could help and take a brief history of each patient they saw. We took them to our market day on Wednesday and helped them barter for souvenirs after we finished our grocery shopping for the week. We provided them with a variety of our favorite Indian dishes and hid the silverware to complete the Indian dining experience, which came with courses on “How to eat using your right hand.” They had so many questions about the culture and India in general. They asked questions about plants, food, weather, illnesses, languages and even the children’s names and somehow we were able to keep providing answers, I felt like I had lived here for years and had the knowledge of a local. The weeks flew by and before I knew it they were watching a Maranatha India film reviewing the past two weeks and their adventures. They were each interviewed and in several interviews I heard from my place in the kitchen where I was preparing their last breakfast, “I just feel like the people here are so thankful for everything we’ve done and we haven’t really done anything but given a few pain killers and vitamins.” “It was an amazing experience and I’ll definitely do it again. I just love it here.” “I really will miss this place and the people.”
That’s when it hit me. The medical team had slowly become more and more comfortable here after several days, but they would never feel the way I feel about this place. Yes, they were here two weeks and they had amazing stories, pictures, and blessings. Here I am. This is my home, my language, my culture, my family, my life. And tell me, who in their right mind takes pictures of their home, family, pets, grocery store, or school and has an amazing life changing story to go along with each picture? This is my life I’ve adapted to it, everything here is just normal… now. Maybe I don’t have an exciting and miraculous story to tell or a specific life changing experience. This is my miraculous and life changing story, this everyday life that comes closer and closer to its end with every passing day. The sounds, smells, tastes, friendships, and memories will go with me forever and that is the life changing experience and the miraculous story.

Regrets

2009-03-08T01:19:00.000-08:00

It had been a long day of registering students for the new school year and my mind was practicing the steps for the dance me and a few other staff were preparing for the “Welcome Back” program that was nearing all too soon. It was Friday afternoon and the Program was Sunday. My mind began to quickly wander from the Welcome back program to the Vesper program that I wasn’t prepared to play piano for, and again to my lesson plans I hadn’t done yet, and still again I realized we needed to prepare for the group from Maranatha coming in a few short weeks. I finally came to the end of my wandering when I realized my 6 months was coming close and I hadn’t exited the country. I left my place at the registration table, where I had been assigning students to their sport teams, and went to the principal’s office. After much debate we concluded that the best time to leave was Sunday morning. It was a last minute plan to visit Nepal in four days and there were far too many details missing. But as I’ve learned from traveling over Christmas, what’s the fun of an adventure if all the details have been worked out?

So we left on a train Sunday morning, missing our dance for the Welcome Back program, and headed for Scheer Memorial Hospital just outside Kathmandu, Nepal. We had no contact information for the hospital, but I had emailed Shannon Gibb, the SM located at Scheer from Walla Walla, and told her we would be coming. We made a quick stop at one of the Adventist schools on our way to Nepal to get some advice on how we should get to Kathmandu. The principal at the school knew one pastor who was going to Kathmandu the next day, and so we left the next day with the pastor and his family. The bus ride to Kathmandu takes 12 hours from the border but after 7 hours in the bus we came to a solid halt. It was dark outside and we couldn’t see anything but rumor was the bridge had been washed away and they were using a barge to haul busses across the river. We got out and walked to the river side and counted almost 100 busses in front of ours. They said we should plan on being there for 3 nights because they can only take 40 busses across in one day. We found a map to see how far we were and we hadn’t even made it half way. “Do we turn back or stay over night? Who had given this bus driver these directions anyways? Will this trip be something I end up regretting?” These questions plagued my mind all night long as I tried to sleep in an uncomfortable bus seat with a smelly old man sleeping at my feet and no fresh air because the Himalayan air was too cold to open a window.

Somehow the next morning we caught a bus at the beginning of the line and crossed the river in a matter of hours and began moving forward on our trek to Kathmandu. It was a long day in the bus and it was starting to get dark again when our bus stopped a second time. We lined up with the other busses and couldn’t move forward due to a strike. In Nepal if someone important dies or if someone dies in a car accident they have a strike and no vehicles can move. So we waited for the strike and after several hours we began to move again. What a disaster, the 12 hour trip had more than doubled and I kept questioning if we had made the right decision. We reached Kathmandu early morning the next day and headed for the Scheer Memorial Hospital.

The Scheer Memorial Hospital was where I had applied to be a Student Missionary with Shannon. I had been sure that was where God wanted me to go so I had waited for months before I chose another location being India and the school I am located at now. The thought kept returning to my mind, “What if I regret going to India? What if I got to Scheer and realize that God really did want me here but I was just too impatient to wait for the reply?” All of these “What ifs” kept filling my mind and I wondered if this whole trip was just a bad idea.

When we finally reached the hospital they showed us to our room and we cleaned up then I went out to find Shannon. It was so exciting to see her and then to find out that there were two other Student Missionaries staying at Scheer the same week as us to lengthen their visas as well.

In all there was a total of 6 SM’s, Steven from Andrews located in Southern India, Mindy from Southern located in Northern India, Kara and me located in Northeastern India, and Brandon and Shannon from Union and Walla Walla located at Scheer. We spent the rest of the week touring the near cities and laughing at all the common culture differences among India and Nepal we had all acquired over the last 5 months, we even did some roof riding on the busses and found out later that it’s illegal. It was the easiest thing to form bonds between each other because we all had experienced huge changes in our lives that we could all relate to. What a blessing, I had no regrets in that area.
But this place, Banepa, Nepal, was beautiful. Kathmandu was 15 miles away and had everything and more you could find at a city in the states. The area was heavily populated with foreigners and after hearing Shannon’s trekking stories and all of her experiences I began to wish I too had been there to experience all these things. I started to think I could easily live here. With all the luxuries life would be fun and easy to be an SM here. Then it hit me. Being an SM would be “fun” and “easy”? Is that what life is all about? What would I have learned from my year abroad if life was “fun” and “easy”? One of the hardest things I’ve learned is that I don’t need all of the luxurious “fun” and “easy” things to make life fun and easy. I wouldn’t have learned this if I would have been 15 miles from a huge metropolitan city where I could find anything and everything I need. I’ve learned to live without a lot of things because they are impossible to find where I’m at. One night Shannon and I were talking and we both agreed that we were put in the perfect places, and learned more than we may have anywhere else. Definitely no regrets this time!

A Thick Stick

2009-02-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was standing at the bus stop across the bamboo bridge from the school when out of nowhere I hear a loud wail. I turn back to look and coming from my side of the bridge a small girl is pulling her leg to her chest and her dad has her arm tightly gripped in one hand and a thick stick tightly gripped in the other. I stared as I watched this father beat his child over and over with this stick. First her legs, then her bottom, and I squinted my eyes when he moved up to her head. I couldn't watch but I felt like I should do something. Her younger brother began to cry as well. The girls father held her for what seemed like, in my own eyes, a minimum of 20 minutes, when finally he let go of her and she ran back across the bridge and collapsed in the middle on her front. She was missing a shoe from her struggle to escape the grip of her father. Her mother walked across the bridge to meet her and knelt down and slowly pulled her up. At this time I barely noticed the bus that was waiting for me, then slowly climbed in. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day long. Then finally this morning the story was told and her parents had been trying to leave her after registering but she didn't want to stay. She wanted to go back home with them and began to cry. Her father didn't know what to do with her, so he did what any father in these parts would and beat her. He beat her until her legs were swollen and bleeding and her hands and arms had welts. I couldn't believe that any father could do such a thing. Was he emberassed of her behavior so he beat her? Or was he angry that she would act in this way? Was he sad to be separating himself from her, but didn't know how to express his feelings? I don't know.

All In A Days Work

2009-02-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

I wake up before the sun and sit in the silence of the dark morning with a hot cup of tea in my hands, sharing my thoughts and upcoming challenges for the day with someone who simply listens. Within an hours time everything will come to life and the day will begin and won't slow down until after the sun is gone again. Before I know it the short hour has disappeared and I quickly throw on a jacket, grab my bag, and head out the door quickly heading for the gate. There waits the school's new auto that has been promised to take any staff members that need to make purchases at the villages larger Wednesday Bajeng Market. When I finally reach the auto it has been packed full and so I climb into the passenger seat and find an empty lap to rest. The auto is full and noisy as it makes a rough trip to the market and 20 minutes later we arrive. I make my way towards the field unfolding with fruits, vegetables, rice, sweets and all kinds of household goods. Row after row, blanket after blanket, men and women sit on the ground along side their harvest waiting for the mornings first customer. This isn't a new experience for me and many villagers even know who I am and where I'm from and possibly have a photo of me stored away on their cell phone. There's no chance that in this village I'll see another "foreigner" although by now I don't even notice the differences between us. I make my way down my "grocery list" that is stored somewhere in my busy mind and within an hour I have all the food we'll need for the week and a few flowers and pots to prepare the yard for spring. I pick up some breakfast, rice bread and jakep wrapped in banana leaf, on my way back to the auto to head back to school.
Twenty minutes later we reach the school where I take my large bag of groceries and pots home and quickly put them in their respective places and head to the Ad building to start registering students. After registering almost 60 students we take our lunch break and I head home and barely make it to my bed where I wake up only a few minutes before the second round of registration starts. We are busy registering until late afternoon. I rush home so I can finish everything before the sun light disappears and I quickly throw on my work clothes and make my way outside to work on the flowers. After planting two pots and setting them on the steps I move into the house and sweep out the sand that has snuck it's way through the cracks. Now I can start on my own mess in my room where all the christmas packages have been stored to clean out the front room. After my room is back to it's empty self I grab some dinner, cabbage salad with carrots and grams. By this time it's dark and there is nothing more that can be done. The lesson planning and laundry will have to wait for tomorrow, so I grab a book and sit on the grass mat on the floor to read for some time. I put down my book and recall all that the day has brought and think to myself, "what a life?" I don't even think twice about it most days, but this is a life I never would have pictured myself living. But I love it and wouldn't have it any other way.

A good belly laugh

2009-01-31T05:37:00.000-08:00

We visited Sweet Home orphanage one last time before we left the central part of India and headed back to the Northeast. One afternoon I went out with the smaller girls and we played on the swings and the slide. These girls don't speak english but they do understand a little. I was on the swing when a girl, Pune, grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a low tree branch that 4 other girls were holding onto. Pune pushed me onto the branch so I was sitting on it and I didn't realize that the girls had been holding the branch down. When they let go, I flew so high and almost fell off. I quickly grabbed the tree before making a fall and the girls were laughing so hard. When I came back down I began to laugh so hard I was crying. Then all of us sat on the branch and went up and down, laughing harder and harder with each drop. We played on that tree for quite some time and when we were finished my stomach muscles were aching. Someone had my camera and snapped a good shot!

Chasing The Train

2009-01-14T05:02:00.000-08:00

It was a warm afternoon and I had just boarded the train to leave Goa as we were headed, on our long journey around India, to Spicer College in Pune. I pulled out my prayer journal to being writing when I notice a father holding his, maybe thirteen-year-old, daughter. There I saw a few tears being shed and he wiped them from her cheek with his hand. I quickly thought maybe she was in pain or possibly he was apologizing for something and I returned to my writing. Before long the train began to jerk it's way forward, slowly moving to a steady pace. I noticed that someone was walking beside my window looking into the train. He was looking past me and had a somewhat peaceful look on his face. He started to wave and I looked to where he had been focused and saw the thirteen-year-old girl with swollen eyes. Now her tears came without stop and as the train began to pick up speed her tears began to flow more rapidly until she broke into a sob. Her father, a small tear in the crease of his eye, followed the train with a brisk walk, which quickly turned into a jog and then a run until a wall of people swallowed him and he was out of site. The girl continued to cry and the tears continued to fall for several more minutes. This experience took me back to one of my own, a time I stood at the Spokane airport just three months previous where I too shed the same tears as this young girl and my own father chased the train as far as he could until the wall of people swallowed him as well. The quick flash back suddenly made my own eyes swell and my vision became blury. I could feel this girls pain 100%. It's the pain of losing someone dear to our hearts, but after the tears comes strength that will be with us until we are reunited. Chase the train as far as you can but you must be willing to search for the strength to fight the crowd.

Simple days bring the sweetest memories

2009-01-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

It's mid afternoon, the sun is bright and the air is warm. I slowly open my eyes and find myself laying on a grass mat looking up at a blue sky and the palm trees that provide shade. I close my eyes again in the wonder of this moment and my body goes limp again as the girl holding my head in her lap continues to play with my hair. As I lay with my eyes closed, I store the precious memory in my mind and title it, simply the best Christmas ever.
It was a simple Christmas this year, no large wish lists and no big gifts. Infact Christmas day found us at a beach with 80 kids where we played in the warm salt water and laughed so hard our stomachs ached. Not only did we have a good time with the kids and make new friends but we spent time with old friends. Kara and I met Ryan at the orphanage and it was a fun time to talk and joke with eachother. The week spent at Sweet Home orphanage was more than simply relaxing, it was a learning experience that I wish every person could encounter. There's so much I could say about being there and my experience, just not enough time. But the simple days most definately bring the sweetest memories.

A Hug...

2008-12-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

I am getting ready to leave in 5 hours for a long Christmas trip. I've been looking forward to this trip ever since I left the Spokane airport, but right now I'm having second thoughts! I don't want to leave the comfort and safety of my little home for Christmas. It's surprising how quickly I have adapted to this place and I will miss it over this break.
There is a new teacher that has come from Germany to be the new music teacher for the 2009 year and her husband is an Indian and will be the pastor. We went to their house today for lunch and was the first time we really got to talk with them. It was so fun to talk with someone who knew what we were talking about when we talked about the differences from here and the U.S. After lunch we said goodbye and she gave us a hug and wished us a Merry Christmas. I think that is the first hug I've had since leaving the Spokane airport. A little hug is SO important it tells someone just how much you care without saying a word. It's not only a sign of affection but trust and I hadn't realized just how much I've missed that physical display of affection until today. Touch is so important to me and because of culture differences it's hard to come by here. So... next time you give or recieve a hug give an extra hug for me ;)

A Dirty Foot

2008-12-10T18:21:00.000-08:00

And so I've been learning alot about making time for things that aren't in my original plans and God has given me many opportunities to expound on this new technique. The other day I was sitting here in this chair outside the guesthouse where I write emails. I had alot I needed to get done on the Internet that day and not alot of time. I looked up from my old DELL and saw Sir Benny coming towards me with a girl about my age. She had a very dark complexion that was covered in dirt. She was carrying a basket and had a slight limp. Sir Benny came closer and I thought I heard him ask me if I knew how to stitch a wound. What? I thought, I'm not here to stitch anything or assist anyone in surgery or... I don't even know how it happened but I found myself kneeling on the hard ground with a bucket of warm water and a rag washing the dirty foot of this young woman who had been carrying rocks and sand in her basket all day. She had a cut on the bottom of her foot from working barefoot. The bleeding had slowed and as I washed her foot the water in the bucket became black and the bottom had disappeared. I dried her foot and bandaged it with a cloth. It seemed as if Jesus was kneeling there beside me the whole time taking my hands in His and washing this womans foot, there was something special about her. We couldn't communicate with words but actions are enough to tell someone how much you care. After she was sent off and told to rest I came back to my computer but couldn't stop thinking about this woman and the experience I had just had, it would have been so easy for me to say I didn't have time and continue with my emails, but somehow God moved me. It's incredible what you can experience if you just listen to Him. God is teaching me something everyday and it's such a blessing. I just wish I had time to share all the experiences, there are just too many!

A Smile Worth the Ache and Every Minute Counts

2008-12-01T01:29:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the Christmas program and Santa Clause came and brought gifts for the students. Each student left the program with sweets, a handkerchief, and a baseball cap or hair clips. Joy was evident on every bright face with a wide smile. I ran to the kitchen ahead of the kids to get some flour and eggs and couldn’t help but notice the fancy feast of four different curries and hard boiled eggs that had been prepared for the all who had attended the Christmas program. It looked as if a few hands would be helpful with the serving, and I always love coming during meal time to serve the kids. When the students came in with their big smiles and clips in their hair or caps on their head they formed two single file lines, the boys on one side and girls on the other. The boys are my favorite because they are so shy and when they don’t understand my English they just smile and it stretches a smile across my own face. One boy, who I always notice to be polite and shy, came through line and continued coming back for the sweet rice with milk that I was serving. I think maybe five or six times he came through, and every time I would look at him as if he shouldn’t be coming so many times, but with his shy smile I was smiling all night long and when we got back home my cheeks were feeling quite sore. It’s so easy to serve with a smile when it comes to those kids in line; the smile is most definitely worth the ache. God is teaching me a lot about service. I often forget my purpose for serving God by serving others because I am so distracted by all the things to do here. Another thing I’ve been struggling with is time, it’s the choleric in me that will kill me at a young age. I was raised in a home where everything is done in a timely and efficient manner and there’s no time for small talk. So when a student comes to my house to visit and I look at the clock 2 hours later and they’re still there, all I can think about is everything that needs to be done before it gets dark so I rush the conversation to an end. It’s something that is really hard for me and I do it all the time. I have all the time in the world here, what is rushing me? I need to take the time to read a book, sing a song, play a game of hop-scotch, have a two hour conversation with an eleven-year-old, or say a silent prayer. What does every minute count for?

Elephants and Dresses

2008-11-29T18:58:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving we prepared a feast for the two of us and the man who is here volunteering with Maranatha. So Thursday I was in the kitchen all day. Kara went out to go buy some fruit to make a fruit salad and saw the elephant again, so she ran back to the house and grabbed the cameras and went back to get pictures and she saw it taking a bath in the river. I'm sure we'll be seeing it around so I'll get to see it again too.
We got our dresses made this week and got to wear them to church. We took a few pictures after church. This is the last sabbath with all of the students. Next Sabbath will be only staff. The kids will be on campus until Wednesday when the grades are handed out and then they will head for home. It will be so quiet without them.
Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving!

Weekend Trip

2008-11-26T04:36:00.000-08:00

This last weekend we took a trip to Guwahati, about 3.5 hours from the school, with Miss Jennie to purchase some train tickets for our Christmas break trip. While we were there we got to do some shopping and we bought material to make a Salwar, an indian dress. We get to pick it up on Friday from the tailor and I'll wear it to church Sabbath, oh I can't wait! While we were in Guwahati we bought a whole bunch of supplies for baking, so I get to bake whenever I want now. Well almost, as long as we have electricity so I can use the little oven we have. We got some ice cream and then we did some more shopping had lunch at a chinese cuisine and then found a Baskin Robbins!!! Yum... 31 flavors and all! It tasted like icecream from home too. Then we hopped back on a bus and then an autoricshaw and finally got home at 11:30. Then we had finals early the next morning! But things have been going good. Just a few minutes ago I put a pumpkin pie in the oven for tomorrow. We'll have a Thanksgiving dinner with one man who is here with Maranatha doing some work on the school. Thanks for the prayers! I'll be able to update more often because we have internet for a little while at the school! Have a great week!

Pictures

2008-11-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

Some of the boys swimming in the river because there was no water for bathing.

Miss Jennie and Mrs. Rimsu with us in our new Garo dresses.

Getting ready for our Hindi dance at the Children's Day program.

My little Garo teacher Miss. Rakichi. Nitua!

once a month update :)

2008-11-16T23:52:00.000-08:00

What fun we’ve been having! I hope you all are doing well wherever it is you may be. I pray for you all quite often and thank God everyday for blessing me with friends and family who keep us in their prayers daily too! It’s so hard to believe that it’s been one month since we’ve been here. October has flown by and November will be over before I know it and we will be planning our Christmas break adventure to explore India. So much has happened since we’ve been here. We saw an elephant walking down the road outside our campus a few weeks ago. I wish I had my camera but we were having a work social, where we divide the students up and pick-up around campus, so I couldn’t capture that moment fast enough. Just last Friday we saw a monkey on a chain but it was not a happy experience, it attacked one of the girls, but she wasn’t hurt. I really do love it here and the people have already become like family. God has blessed us- the people are very friendly and always comforting and I am very much content here. A week ago Friday we didn’t have school because there was some kind of festival so Kara and I went with some students to a Bazaar or market. We took a bus for 10 rupees (appx. 5 cents) and “roamed” around. They took us to one of their favorite bakery. What a fun time we had-we walked up the river a ways and rode a bamboo boat back to the bazaar where we caught our bus and headed home. Friday was Children’s day in India, a national holiday and no school. So the staff put on a program for the students. A few of the kids we have gotten close to taught us a Hindi dance and we performed that for the program and it was quite a hit. But it was so much fun. Kara had a terrible fever this weekend and I caught a cold so we spent the whole weekend sleeping. Today (Monday) we are feeling much better and we came with another teacher, Miss Tani, to Tura the closest city, to use the internet and purchase a few items we can’t get at the local markets.
We have plans to go to a Garo wedding (Garo is the clan from East Garo Hills, our district) on Dec. 10, with Miss Jenny one of the staff members who has adopted us as her own, which will be a fun experience and she is planning to take us to Kolkata for a few days after that. Then we hope to go visit Home Sweet Home an orphanage down south for Christmas time. We are starting to work on our traveling plans and it is so exciting.
Because this is a boarding school far from any kind of town or village there is really nothing to do after school, it reminds me of UCA . The kids mostly sleep and eat when they are not in school and they go to all the social events early so they can sing because there is nothing else for them to do. I would really like to start up some kind program for them to get involved in for next school year. They have a room for a library but have no books yet, so we are working on getting books for next year. I would like to start PE classes and the school is planning on having a music class for next year also, but they are waiting for a keyboard. The kids love to sing so I think a choir will be fun for them. This week starting Monday the 17th the kids begin their finals and Maranatha is coming to dedicate the new church building on Wednesday, it will be fun to meet them and have westerners around for a few days. We have to talk SO slow here for them to understand our accents so it’s always really nice to talk at a normal pace and be understood. Thank you again for all of your prayers I don’t know what it would be like here without them. We think about you all too much and miss you! We used to always look at our clock set to the time at home and wonder what everyone was doing at school and home. But we are quickly getting quite busy. Have a great week and I’ll post again as soon as I can.

School & Our House

2008-10-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

Finally Here!

2008-10-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

What an experience we've had so far! So many things I could tell you but we don't have alot of time. We are in the town of Goalpara right now using the internet and it's the first time in over 2 weeks. We arrived on Friday and began teaching classes on monday! Wow, so fast and no preparation, they are preparing for their final exam. it's hard to understand them because of their accent but they all speak english at the school which is very nice. We have even made some very good friends and continue to make more, God is blessing us everyday. Ofcourse we always look at our watches that still have the time of home and wonder what everyone is doing, but we are busy and have lots to do here, so that is very good. I will post some pictures with this, of our house and the area. HOpe you are all doing well. we miss you and think about you often, hopefully I will get to update you more in further detail later.

We're Off!

2008-10-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

Time is flying by, we bought our tickets to Guahati, India on Tuesday and we are leaving Wednesday of next week. Only a few days left. For those of you who love writing letters or sending packages ;) our address is:

Riverside Adventist
Academy, Bajengdoba
(Chichotcheng), East Garo
Hills, Meghalaya 794 002,
India

The SM office in Walla Walla will pay for shipping too, what a deal! Next blog will be all the way from India. Hope to keep you updated!

Answer to Prayer

2008-09-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

I am writing to let you all know that my tourist visa application was accepted and I recieved it today. Thank you so much for all the prayers! I know that this is where God is sending me!

India, islands, or back to WWU?

2008-09-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

This last week has been a big test of faith! I realized that I have been trying to take control of this trip and it's been a real eye opener. It started out on Tuesday morning when I got a call from the India Visa Center in San Francisco telling me I had applied for the wrong visa. Instead of applying for a business visa I needed to apply for a tourist visa. But I had been waiting over a month for this letter of invitation from India which I learned wasn't required for a tourist visa. I thought this would be good, but it turned out that I had sent in a letter from the principal thats subject read "student missionary" and that would mean I needed to apply for a missionary visa which could take anywhere between 6 months - 1 year to process. I was on the phone all day with the India Visa Center trying to straighten things out and get the correct documents sent in. My last conversation with the Visa Center ended with a very good possibility that I might be rejected for a tourist visa and it all came down to the subject of an email titled "Student Missionary". They said it was all up to the Consulate and her decision would have the final word. Being the person I am I took matters into as much of my own hands as I could and was frustrated that I couldn't do more than write a letter explaining my purpose for this trip and it ended with 'if I can't help children in India for a year I will go somewhere else'. I'm not sure if that was out of frustration or if God had a say in that but we'll see. Jeanne, the SM director at WWU, called me that day and told me if I wanted to I could give up all of this and be on a plane the next day to the islands. So I don't know where I will end up, but I know God has a plan and He has given me much faith and peace about His decision! Thanks for all your prayers! I will know soon the outcome of the whole visa process.

Patience is a virtue but time is running out!

2008-09-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Highlighted in gold is where I will be living for the next few months. We are in the lower western corner of Meghalaya at the Riverside Adventist School. It is a boarding school for K-8 with 800 students. The school is fairly new. From what I've heard it was built in 2005 by a Maranatha group. I am really excited about going, but lately I've been feeling very frustrated about the whole thing. I've been trying to get a visa for over a month now and it has been taking so long because I can't seem to get a letter of invitation from the school over there, which is a "required" piece of information. It seems like there is no such thing as urgency to them and they have not been in a hury to get me the letter. But today I sent off my visa application with a substitute for the letter of invitation and all I can do is pray that it will be accepted. And in less than 10 days I could have my visa, or I could be waiting still for a letter. Time is running out and my patience is wearing thin, but God has a plan!