Friday, April 10, 2009
Honest.
This blog is going to be an honest blog, complete truth and no lies. I'm honestly tired. I'm tired of living this life- teaching, the food, sickness, being in the middle of nowhere, and the terrible heat that keeps getting worse. I was really sick the last week and am recovering now. I was tested for malaria twice and everytime the results were negative. I was in bed for 5 days without moving only to roll from one side to the other, to wake up and drink which had to be forced, and to wake up to eat which also was forced and a very small amount. My body was in a constant sweat and I was loosing water fast and couldn't keep food in my body. I was growing weak with every passing day. My parents had been contemplating the "emergency evacuation" plan with the Student Missions director so that I could come home and get professional medical attention. I would cry when I thought about the opportunity to go home, hoping that it was God's will that I would be so sick I would need to go home. Eventually I made it to a doctor who gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and before long I had gained strength and on Thursday I went to my classes. Everything is fine now, but I feel as if my body is here, but my heart and mind have already taken that "emergency evacuation" and left for home. It's going to be a tough 2 months until I fly into Seattle but I am praying everyday for the strength and wisdom. I know it will be easier when I let go and trust God.
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4 comments:
Oh Kristina. I cannot express how sorry I am you feel this way. I know exactly how that feels and at one point I wished the exact same thing. You know what was awful, I used to hope something bad would happen to one of us so that we could all just go home. Like once I wished one of us would get kidnapped or shot or something terrible because I would do ANYTHING to get out of here. Tina, please just hang in there. Being sick makes things just SO much worse. I am really going to pray for you as much as I can. I hate to see you feeling this way. I love you alot and please know that I've felt the way you do and I am going to be thinking about you alot for the next 2 months.
Tina. I totally understand, I'm not sure what it is rightnow, but I'm ready to start the trek home. I love my kids, and I am going to miss them so much, but i'm ready for my house and my own space.
I love you so much Tina, you are doing amazing things, I know they love you there, there is no doubt in my mind. Lets both live it up for the next two months, we'll never get this time back.
You're amazing, time will fly by, I'm sure of it.
I love you so much. I am praying for you, honestly.
You don't know me. I stumbled upon it from friend to friend's blogs. Honesty is beautiful, liberating, and freeing. Thanks. Being an SM was the most painful year of my life. Your story is powerful and appreciated. Do what you need to do. Breathe. Soak it up. Live.
You don't know me either; I'm a friend of a friend at an Adventist college. Your story really made an impact on me. I haven't been an SM, so I don't know what it's like to be in a situation like yours. I honestly don't know what to say except that you will definitely be in my prayers. Thank you for taking this time to serve God overseas. Your strength and determination inspire me to do more with my life.
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